6 Ways I use Self-Care
Pre-children I had all the time in the world for self-care and it felt effortless.
The older I got, more responsibilities piled on, becoming a wife, working full time and running the house, then becoming a mum, choosing to home-school and run a business. Self-care ended up taking a back seat.
It took even more of a back seat when I had my second child. He didn’t sleep, still does not sleep through the night, but is getting better. So add sleep deprivation, pre-existing mental health issues well that is a recipe for disaster!
And it was a disaster!
I decided to prioritise self-care and that started with therapy!
DON’T PUT TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON YOURSELF
I promised myself that I wouldn’t overdo it. I wouldn’t push myself to do too much at once. I would take my time and add things when I felt I could cope.
My therapist has helped me to see that it is ok to go slow, take it at my pace, when I am ready, as long as I am moving forward. And if I have to pause to keep it all together, that is ok too!
Instead of beating myself up about it, I try to understand why it is so difficult.
My self-care routine started taking shape and started to look like this
- Weekly therapy
- Journalling
- Showering
- Napping
- Reading
- Going to Finnegan’s Whiskers Cat Café when I can.
- Taking time out for myself – to start pursuing the things I enjoy
- Laundry
- Keeping a room tidy
I focused on the little steps that I could take at home, things that wouldn’t take extra energy but instead that would rejuvenate me.
To say I have neglected myself would be an understatement!!!
While living in survival mode I often ended up taking emergency self care naps and reading for days sometimes weeks. All so I could gather enough mental strength to deal with the day ahead or a difficult tasks that may seem simple to others.
1. SETTING UP ROUTINES
Morning Routine
Developing a morning routine that works for me has now become a priority. It is a work in progress and will vary depending on what my week looks like.
One thing I know is that I am at my best in the morning! It is when I have the most energy and my brain is clear. I can get more done in the first few hours of waking up than I can get done all afternoon!
Having a routine in the morning helps keep my anxiety at bay for doing the school run. If I am not organised, I am a wreck getting out of the house.
A book that I read and can’t stop thinking about is Miracle Morning – now getting up early doesn’t work for everyone, and for me getting up and not having anyone around is nearly impossible.
I always thought of Hal Elrod’s method as a way to get more done, and some people really look on his methods negatively.
But if you really analyse it…he is implementing SELF CARE
Once I realised it is self-care, it feels like something that I can and want to do in my life. I am taking the principles of that book and working them into a routine that works for me.
Daytime Routine
Is currently dictated on how I am feeling that day. Some days I need to rest and take things slow. Other days I have more energy to get things done.
I am trying to build structure into my day, especially when my youngest is in school. Its hard to have structure when he is home because he cannot be left on his own.
I have joined a writing group hosted by the lovely Loretta. You can join too, she posts times on her Instagram, the timing works perfect for me. I have also joined a weekly clay club. Find out how to join here. There is no pressure to show up for either group which works perfect for me, in case I am having a bad day.
Evening Routine
Being up early means I need to be in bed early, which honestly feels so amazing at the end of the day. We put Owen to bed, and then I head to my bedroom, to begin my evening routine, then I snuggle into bed with my kindle or the Libby App on my phone and I read until I fall asleep.
Sometimes this means my kindle ends up on the floor and my glasses get lost in the bed. Sometimes if my husband comes into bed after I am asleep he will find my glasses and put them on his bedside table. Which is a good thing seeing as our youngest jumps into bed with us in the middle of the night – so chances are he will crush my glasses.
This is as much routine as I am going to add for now. Follow me on Insta to see how I develop my routines over the next few months. I am not rushing this but making small changes so I can manage them.
2. SELF-CARE KIT
I am in the process of setting this up, once I have finished setting it up I will share it in full.
The things I already have at home and are planning on including:
- Heat pad
- Neck and back massager
- Essential oils
- Candles
- Cozy blanket
- Lip balm
- Special hand cream
- Journals
3. ESSENTIAL OILS
Once upon a time, I got obsessed with essential oils, well I ended up with loads that I haven’t used so I am trying to get back into using them regularly in my diffuser.
Some of my diffusers lost their power supplies in the move, as I slowly unpack I am coming across the lost power cables so more of my diffusers are coming back into use.
My favourite blends that I use often are by DoTerra – they are balance, serenity and motivate. Those are my 3 go tos! During the winter I enjoy the smell of On Guard. When anyone is stuffy Air is great!
4. RETREATS
Last fall when I was not feeling great I pushed myself hard to attend a writers retreat hosted by Loretta, the no pressure structure of the retreat, the activities planned really appealed to me. Being able to just attend and be present was a huge relief.
This retreat was a turning point for me. All the ladies at the retreat were amazing and so supportive. I left feeling rejuvenated and like I unlocked something while I was there. I will be attending her next retreat in September. She might even have a couple of spaces left if you want to join us, check out her Instagram page for more information.
I am planning my own quarterly retreat at home. I plan on locking myself away in the spare room, have long lazy showers and just take a day or two away from responsibilities.
5. CYCLE TRACKING
Tracking my cycle has been essential in learning when I need to have rest days, I can give my husband a heads up that he will need to take the load for a day or two, otherwise it will have a long term impact on my mental health.
There have been days when I have put myself to bed early because I was so grumpy and irritated. It used to feel hopeless, but now I acknowledge these days for what they are, resting!! Self-care! Looking after my mental and physical needs.
I would do the same for my husband if he needed it. In fact, I am now making sure he makes time for himself, so he is rested.
Unlike me he is not a morning person, so if I can get up early with Owen, then he actually gets better rest. Since I have been ensuring he doesn’t have to do the 5/6am shift he is feeling more rested and a lot happier.
Me being in tune with my cycle has meant I am more in tune with my husbands.
6. HABITS
I am taking time to learn what habits I already have that are helpful and which ones are harmful.
This has been eye-opening for me. Things that I never thought of as a habit are! And some were becoming extremely harmful.
This includes how I respond to negative events in my life, this is a tough one to break but I am chipping away at it.
This is more than enough for me right now. I am starting to see the positive effects these have on my mental health and I am starting to have more good days than bad.
There is so much information out there on self-care, feel free to browse my Pinterest Board on self-care. I have curated it especially for me, but there might be something you will find helpful/useful.
